At some point, I may find time to expand on this. At the moment all my writing is focused on the MPhil (I have a draft finished but it needs a lot of work still) and my creative writing is limited to snatches such as this. in a way, I like them, because they’re often written in quite an intense way very quickly and don’t have much editing. They may not be good and polished, but they’re honest at least. Comments are, though, welcome if you care to take the time.

When it’s all passion and sensation, but at the core of it all is the strong steel rope of absolute certainty that this will be the person you’ll die with. The  steel  which doesn’t shatter when it breaks because it’s part of you. You made this your support, kept it at the centre of all your hopes and disappointments, joys and celebration, sorrow and comfort twisted around this one thing which seemed so strong. You wrapped yourself around it like sinew on bone, took it inside yourself until tissue grew over it like shrapnel in a war wound. So it can’t shatter, held together by your very flesh, but eventually it breaks. And because it’s locked into your body the jagged edges rupture skin every time you move, scratch against muscle and vessel until you can’t stand it and adrenaline floods, numbing relief. You did this to yourself with your need for a steel core forgetting that it wasn’t you who held it together but once it breaks, you can’t rip it out without causing even more damage.

Some things are complicated at the moment. Moving on always is, no matter where you’re coming from and going to. Change is hard to do, even when it’s desirable. It’s impossible to leave some things behind and sometimes the best you can do is put them in that box in the top of the cupboard, the one you never look at but the one you always pack first when you move.
Allow me a moment of attempting to make my own writing appear better than it is by linking someone else’s superior work in the same post:

Sarah Kane; Crave

“…ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don’t mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it’s empty without you and want what you want and think I’m losing myself but know I’m safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don’t deserve any less and answer your questions when I’d rather not and tell you the truth when I really don’t want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it’s all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it’s a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.”