Churchillian legs
Hair barely there
Mmm, the harsh truth of the camera eye

Your eyes signal pain
Because of the strain of smiling
The harsh truth of the camera eye

Telling you all
That you never wanted to know
Showing you what
You didn't want shown

My so friendly lens
It zooms into
"The inner you"
And it tells the harsh truth
And nothing but

Laugh with us all now, here
If you can
Then take the pictures home
And scream

Oh, ooh; telling you all
That you never wanted to know
Showing what
You didn't want shown

This photographer
He must have really had it in for you

"Ooh, I don't want
To be judged anymore
I don't want to be judged
I would sooner be Loved
I would sooner be
Just blindly Loved ..."

Often derided, perhaps justifiably, as Morrissey's worst song ever, this truly bizarre essay of media invasion covers one of Moz's favourite topics, merely touched upon in Paint A Vulgar Picture.
The theme of oddity present in "Kill Uncle" continues here, with strange sound effects intertwining with a simple bassline and sudden piano runs. The nightmarish tone of the song is a little overwraught, and the over-dramatic lyrics don't do much to help. I sincerely doubt that Morrissey has ever been bloated enough to suffer from "Churchillian legs". His mention of Churchill is interesting in context - there are few statesmen who are more of a media icon.
If I was to pick out one song that caricatured Morrissey, it would be this one - "depressing", absurd, fey, vain, and over-the-top ("Then take the pictures home, and scrweeemaaah").
Whilst I remember Death At One's Elbow, this will certainly never be the worst song Moz has ever done ...
Actually I quite like this song. Despite the pantomimic nature of the song, we find one of Morrissey's most revealing admissions - "I would sooner be blindly loved".
Steve Heart was responsible for the keyboard, piano, and sound effects in this song.

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