NOWHERE FAST

I'd like to drop my trousers to the world
I am a man of means (of slender means)
Each household appliance
Is like a new science in my town
And if the day came when I felt a
Natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
In the ocean
And when a train goes by
It's such a sad sound
No ...
It's such a sad thing

I'd like to drop my trousers to the Queen
Every sensible child will know what this means
The poor and the needy
Are selfish and greedy on her terms
And if the day came when I felt a
Natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably jump
In the ocean
And when a train goes by
It's such a sad sound
No ...
It's such a sad thing

And when I'm lying in my bed
I think about life
And I think about death
And neither one particularly appeals to me
And if the day came when I felt a
Natural emotion
I'd get such a shock I'd probably lie
In the middle of the street and die
I'd lie down and die ...
Oh, oh


Joyce keeps the tempo of this song with a train-mimicking rhythm throughout, and his stereo pans during the bridge of the song. This slight pantomime ends on a note of desperation, with the vocalist proclaiming his probable reaction to a brush with Real Life. He adopts the cliché of a train and makes it his own, breathing new life into it.
The excellent line about "lying in my bed" is, I have been told, sourced from somewhere else. Can anyone confirm or refute this rumour ?
There also exists a BBC session of this song which is peculiarly listless.

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