A Profile Of Joseph Nash

Well, I successfully got a profile from all the Lovesticks - except one. Our keyboard player, and professional pants tester, Joseph Nash, went off to spend a year in Basingstoke. Of course, since Basingstoke is such a remote place, they didn't seem to have telephones, a post office, or email access. As such, I had little contact with Joe during his time there, and initially received no profile for him. So I wrote one.....

Name: Joseph Nash

D.O.B: Who knows?

Looks: Heavily buttocked, but otherwise like a reject from the 80's

Marital Status: Single, as far as I care.

Hobbies: Playing keyboards, playing with Macintoshes, playing with anything he can get hold of.

Position in the band: Keyboard player. Does a fair amount of the composing. Also provides cuddly toys and cats.

Life History: Hasn't got a life.

Musical Tastes: Yes, yes, YES!!!! Oh, and Rick Wakeman, too.

Anything Else: Nice line in underwear. Apparently "I was not in his ear, ma!". Work that out, if you dare!

Since spoofing this profile for Joe, I have managed to get an official version, in his own words. I kept the original, because it was probably the more accurate of the two, but Joe's responses were as follows:-

Name: Yes

D.O.B: 31/05/74

Looks: Romulan

Marital Status: Maybe

Hobbies: Good question ..... erm ..... er ..... yes. Doing lots of work and nothing else except listening to music and occasionally playing it.

Position in the band: Slightly to the left. Keyboard player. Slightly behind the keyboard.

Life History: Somewhere. Went to school, then didn't.

Musical Tastes: Chocolate (Yes, very funny - except Drummy Dave got there first). Floyd, Yes, William Orbit, Mike Oldfield - oh, and I forgot about Ricky babes (Rick Wakeman).

Anything Else: High Mum! (Or at least, I think that's what he said!)