This is actually a song about social harmony - although very few people can actually pick up on any, let alone all, of the allegory. Its best feature is the music, which has a brilliantly catchy lead line - originally by Xan on Xav's monosynth. I hope to post a MIDI or MOD file of it here fairly soon.

I wish that I could have a switch on my nose,
To stop my head from jumping off and stealing my clothes.
I wish that I could have a switch on my chin,
To stop the Ford Cortinas from driving right in.

Because the hooters drive me mad,
'Cos the noise is so bad.

I wish that I could have a switch on my knee,
To stop the combine harvesters from swallowing me.
And I wish that I could have a switch in my lungs,
To stop the Ostriches from spraying me with rubber bungs.

Because the bouncing drives me mad,
And the colour's really bad.

It just gets into my head, and all the water pipes turn red,
And all the curling stones go green, and all the people go obscene,
And all the horses that I rode, at once explode.